I never thought much about the perspective of superstar Miley Cyrus's dad, Billy Ray. He grew up in the music industry, shared his talents and love with his children, and like every other dad of a childhood star, has been faced with some tough choices. A life I only read about in the news - very separate from the one I lead. Or is it? I think about how we respond when we discover our child is extremely bright, overly athletic or some other amazing talent. We enroll them with a music teacher to give them a chance to grow their talents. We become the coach of their sports team to get involved. We encourage them to excel academically and rise to be their best. This can be a great opportunity for them to learn dedication, perseverance, and excellence. It can also teach many great lessons about humility, helping those less able, winning gracefully and good sportsmanship. Like every other parent, he too, had the hope of his daughter's future. I was very touched by the recent article about his regrets as a parent. His comments had a huge impact on me.
Billy Ray Cyrus:
"How many interviews did I give and say, 'You know what's important between me and Miley is I try to be a friend to my kids'? I said it a lot. And sometimes I would even read other parents might say, 'You don't need to be a friend, you need to be a parent.' Well, I'm the first guy to say to them right now: You were right. I should have been a better parent. I should have said, 'Enough is enough--it's getting dangerous and somebody's going to get hurt.' I should have, but I didn't. Honestly, I didn't know the ball was out of bounds until it was way up in the stands somewhere."
It's easy to sit back and say he's reaping what he sowed. And yes, there are natural consequences to sacrificing your life to fame and fortune. But as one parent feeling the pain of another's loss, and as a parent with a daughter just on the edge of entering these teenage years, I have to humbly wonder in what areas of my life is the ball already heading out of bounds? As a community of Americans, Christians, Neighbors and Humans, we all have to look at the impact we have on one another. Billy Ray Cyrus gave the permission to let her become Hannah Montana. He sent her to the music lessons, dance classes, and acting schools. But we supported her downfall, too. Maybe not you, maybe not me, but collectively as Americans, Christians, Neighbors and Humans we gave permission to our kids to watch her shows, buy her tshirts, listen to her music, google her info, dream her dreams and become emotionally attached to her. Now we're not so sure because she's gone off into some deep waters. We saw it with Britney Spears in the 1990's. I remember one mom telling me, but Britney's such a wholesome example for my daughter. She promotes the fact that she's a virgin and her lyrics are so sweet! Wow- haven't we seen it time and again - the impact that Hollywood has on these child stars!
But what about the impact it has on us and our children? I remember my teen crushes of Scott Baio and Lief Erickson. (Yes - the Hardy Boys -I'm old!) Their posters were on my wall, their faces plastered on my school notebook and I read every magazine article I could get my hands on about them when I was about 15 years old. Over the holidays we had the treat of enjoying tv again for a few weeks. Now when we went to the stores, the Ben10 shirt was just asking to be bought. Before, we had never even noticed it. Suddenly, an unknown toy was now a must have item. Other effects are more subtle. My body doesn't look like hers, why can't I be so popular, etc. I'm sure it's different for everyone, but I keep a watchful eye out for those feelings in my kids.
So how will this one father's potential loss impact how I raise my kids? Well, for one, I'm going to share this article with my kids. The only image they ever see is the one of her beautiful face and her happy father by her side on tv. I'm going to continue to pray that God will guide me with the decisions I make as a parent. We're going to add the Cyrus family to our prayers. And I'm going to continue to try to provide the leadership and the boundaries that my children need. It's a tough balancing act, and one that doesn't come without falls, but one I must keep a vision toward.
Billy Ray Cyrus:
"Somewhere along this journey," he says, "both mine and Miley's faith has been shaken. That saddens me the most." When they first came to Hollywood for Hannah Montana, the two of them would drive down the freeway together to the studio each morning, and every day Miley would point out the sign that said
ADOPT-A-HIGHWAY
ATHEISTS UNITED
Just before moving out to Los Angeles, the whole family had been baptized together by their pastor at the People's Church in Franklin, Tennessee. "It was Tish's idea," he remembers. "She said, 'We're going to be under attack, and we have to be strong in our faith and we're all going to be baptized...'" And there, driving to work each day in the City of Angels, was this sign. "A physical sign. It could have easily said 'You will now be attacked by Satan.' 'Entering this industry, you are now on the highway to darkness...'"
I can't help but notice that Billy Ray has the same cross necklace on in both pictures. How so much has changed for the two of them between those two shots. May we each keep our eyes open for the signs that God puts in front of us each day. I pray as parents that we are strengthened to keep doing the tough job, knowing that God will give us the strength for all things that seem impossible. I pray that our children will choose to remain in the circle of love and protection that is provided for them.
Here is the blog post that was sitting beside the article in my inbox today from Parenting Passageway:
Just for today, step up and be the parent.
Just for today, stop making excuses and explaining all the reasons things can’t happen in your household and just make it happen.
Just for today, live your life in accordance with your values in front of your children.
Just for today, model how you want your children to behave.
Just for today, show your children the world is a place of beauty, truth and goodness.
Just for today, have empathy for all the hardships present in growing up.
Just for today, speak to your children kindly, even if they are not speaking kindly to you.
Just for today, get a sense of humor.
Just for today, set boundaries and stick calmly to those boundaries even if your children don’t like it.
Just for today, be the parent you want to be for the sake of your grandchildren.
Just for today, have fun.
Just for today, step up and be the parent because you are the only parent your children have.
No comments:
Post a Comment