The me I want to be

Last year for my 40th birthday, a dear friend gave me a book by John Ortberg - The Me I Want To Be.    At the time she knew it was just the medicine I needed to redirect my understanding of God's purpose for my life.  I was swimming in a sea of confusion trying to become something that I wasn't designed to be.  Life got busy and I never got past the first chapter.  I see now I probably wasn't ready to hear what God had to say to me.  But God didn't give up!  He sent another dear friend to remind me of this message I needed to hear.  I picked up the book again and wow!!  I can't imagine how in 5 pages my whole outlook has been transformed.  I hope it blesses you richly today.

The Me I want to be - Becoming God's best version of you

You are not YOUR handiwork: your life (and the lives of our family - my addition) are not your project.  Your life is God's project.  God made you to flourish - to receive life from OUTSIDE yourself which creates vitality WITHIN yourself and produces blessing BEYOND yourself.  Flourishing is what happens when you are in harmony with God, other people, creation and yourself.  Flourishing is moving toward God's best version of you.

You will always be you - either flourishing or languishing.  In seeking to grow spiritually you will not have to become someone else.  God pre-wired your temperament, determined your natural gifts and talents and he will not discard your raw material.  HE WILL REDIRECT IT!  I cannot be anything I want - I don't get to create myself - I accept myself as God's gift to me and accept that becoming that person is God's task set before me.  The battle inside is between the flourishing me and the languishing me.

In my languishing self I feel uneasy and discontent - like a fish out of water.  I become drawn to bad habits because they dull the pain, my thoughts drift toward fear and anger.  Learning does not feel worth the effort and I drown myself in self-analyzation.  Relationally, I struggle.  I am undisciplined in what I say - sometimes it's sarcasm, arrogance, gossip.  I isolate.  I dominate. I attack.  I withdraw.

The journey to find my flourishing self begins when I become inspired -when I receive the ideas and energy that God breathes into me.  I flourish when I become connected with God's spirit - when I listen to His word and let it become fully alive in me.  When I see him working in every part of my daily life,  I have a purpose for living.  I am drawn to put on virtue and put off sin.

Then my mind can flourish - I am curious and seeking to learn, listening and building, marked by joy and peace.  I am not easily bored and when negative emotions arise - I can see them as cues to take action.  This transforms the way I spend my time - I have confidence that whatever life throws at me , it will not overthrow me.  When the day comes I meet it with hopeful expectancy- each moment is a God-filled gift.   I become energized.

This pours blessings into my relationships - other people are now a source of wonder.  I learn to listen deeply, to be fully in the moment.  I disclose my own thoughts and feelings in  a way that invites openness in others.  I quickly admit my errors - I freely forgive.  As God is growing me, I see that he wants to use me in his plan to redeem others the way He has redeemed me.  I now live with a sense of calling, a rich life filled with a desire to contribute.  I am growing and flourishing.  I am the me I want to be.